My love
When did you decide to get so big
Swaddling turned to tummy time
Turned to crawling
I watched as your spirit became more comfortable being in the flesh
Oh what a transition it must be to go from the nourishing womb to the weight of the world
How I wish to lift the density of gravity off of you
As I watch your feet hit the floor
If only I could protect you from ever getting hurt as you grow once more
No one prepared me for the agony I would feel
Watching you grow so big
Running through the house and taking tumbles as you learn your sea legs
My love you hit milestones without any problems showing us just how independent you’ll be one day
Saying mommy I got this
I try to hold your hand as we walk
I remember the first time you pushed it away and shook your head no
So I listen
Because this is your body, your journey, your energy field
We are just observers
Your daddy and I
Here to watch you as you make choices for yourself
No one prepared me for this side of our journey
The one where you take the reigns and begin to live
A year has come and passed and I still remember the way you slept comfortably in my womb
Dreaming of the way those kicking feet would hold mama up for a late night dance
I still remember the moment I felt your head crown
When my spirit went into the ethers to bring you Earth side
Oh how these moments imprinted within my heart
I’ve spent nearly every day comforting you, nurturing you, honoring you
Since you were an embryo within my temple
And I would do it all again
Just to watch you grow into this adventurous, wild little cub once more
…..

A version of myself I had yet to meet was awaiting the other side of a burning ring of fire
What I hadn’t yet acknowledged was that there would be a sense of grief for the exoskeleton I’d be leaving
That part of me that drove for miles, windows down, music up
Wind tangling my hair sun overhead
Not a care in the world
Onto the next adventure at every discomfort
When I started settling down and building the stepping stones toward a life of security and comfort, I began recalling memories of her
Wanting to be like her
Grasping at every chance to enjoy life to the fullest extent
12 $ in your pocket and a full gas tank was all one needed
Letting spirit lead the way
This version of me
This archetype of the wild womban
She resembled the freedom my ancestors longed to feel
Blood of their blood, flowing within
As I recalled this ancient knowing
The soil holding their rattling bones full of stories, medicine wisdom, lost warrior lineages
We were scattered across plains in babbling brooks
Sent our of the nest before we could fly
My whole life I longed to hear the wisdom from my elders
To know where I came from
To voice the interconnection I had with a land of Sacred recognition that I’d never touched
Would I ever find the full essence of myself without being able to commune with spirit in the places where my grandmother’s one stood
Before I became pregnant my soul was called to touch the cleansing waters of the islands
Mama Maui
To swim among the wombs waters
To trust myself and follow what felt true within my heart
Honoring the path that God was clearing for me. So I started taking each day with a breath of recognition
For the divine rhythms flowing around me