I never knew it was possible to love something so whole heartedly
Where every thought is centered around him
My everyday actions shifted to focus on caring for him
Making sure his every need is met
I became extremely selfless when i had my sun
I think a lot of mamas do
So often we place ourselves on the backburner to get through the day
I never knew I could be so tired and so full of life all at once
It’s days of reorganizing, recleaning and releasing control over situations you will never have control of
To all the days I’ve felt I couldn’t do it anymore
That I was failing as a mom because my house wouldn’t stay clean no matter how hard I tried
To all the nights I laid looking at pictures of you while you slept comfortably because I wished I had more to give you
What I’ve learned is that a messy house is a house full of memories
Making it well loved
The laundry may not be folded but at least I got to comfort you to sleep
Laying there for hours with you as your chest breathed in and out
Arm cradling me
I never knew I could mean so much to someone
Or that someone could mean so much to me
But I’ve found my joy
It’s in the mundane moments where I think I’m going crazy and you’re running around the corner with a smile on your face happy to see me
The way your body fits against mine like a puzzle piece
I’ll forever be grateful for the slow moments that last forever and the fast moments that are gone in the blink of an eye
Because life would be boring as shit without you banging on the pots and pans for the 5th time today
And baby I’m here for it
To watch you explore the world reaching up for my hand to hold
Is the greatest gift I’ll ever recieve